Making up the truth

The Bin- update

2011-03-12T16:03:00.000-08:00

As far as today goes, the worm bin is successful.
I wrote last month about worm farming. Today I searched through the bin to see the success and was surprised to find that it was progressing much faster than I anticipated.
I have in the past 5 weeks read an enormous variety of article, blog, study, and sales pitch of what Vermiculture can do for you in your life. So I made a choice and have been carefully observing it.
I started with twice the suggested amount of red worms, Eisenia Foetida, that are typically suggested. Why? Because I am a boy and that's what boys do, we always go overboard when we want something to be awesome.
Two days ago I added some paper strips to absorb what I assumed was a build up of moisture, broke the soil loose and mixed it all in a bit. Today I checked up again and found to my delight, a multitude of cocoons. I don't have to tell you that I was pretty excited about it because I am writing this article in response. I scrapped through the top inch of material to see what I can find, and with a casual search I removed some 160 cocoons.
it is said that the Red worms will only reproduce when conditions are favorable for the species to survive. I removed and separated these pods to experiment with how many worms will hatch and how long it takes to produce them. I have come across disagreeing numbers in my reading so I will see what comes of it.
Aside from the excitement of seeing the worms thriving, I am happy to say that I have reduced the food wastes that go outdoors to 1/2 gal per week from 2-3 gals per week. The foods that these worms require are limited to non dairy, non meat and non citrus wastes. They can handle a bit of citrus and whatever trace oils may make it in to their habitat but no intentional additions are said to be tolerated for an indoor bin. The smell would be unfavorable.

If you have any questions or comments please leave them for me. I am excited about this venture and would love to share. I am acting the test subject for this so that I can attest to the manageability of the system for friends and family.
Let's talk about these worms people!

I Got Worms

2011-02-26T17:45:00.001-08:00

Once again, Back again, after a long hiatus. Who knows for how long.

Today's subject is worms.
I have thought for a few years that it might be a good idea to farm my own worms. The idea for me started nearly 12 years ago after an episode of ER. The brief synopsis; an elderly woman who was a patient became so overwhelmingly concerned with her worms which were in trash bins in the back of the van she lived in, that when she was admitted to the hospital she kept trying to leave at great risk to herself to get to her worms that were in below freezing temperatures. In the end everything worked out, the worms moved to the center of the bin and created a giant worm ball of warmth to survive. Worms behave a lot like 12-16 year old people, they love the dark, they eat nothing but junk, and they will use any excuse they can to crawl all over each other.
Aside from a few brief thoughts through the year of having a worm farm for one reason or another, (feed turtles, bait, boredom) I haven't really spent to much time think about worms, specifically earth worms.
A few months ago, Julianne and I purchased our own home. We were given a tiller and have tilled up a large section of sun soaked lawn, the only part where grass grows properly, to plant a garden. At the end of a long row is a large enough compost area for just about everything we need. Near by is a stable that is happy to let us load up all the horse manure we could ask for at no charge, and we have started the seedlings in our basement now still in February.
We have been intentionally doing things to reduce our waste, reduce our living costs and increase our health in any area that we can. so the other day while researching ideas for heating the seedling table, I came across Vermicomposting. I had never heard the term, but after just a few short days I can share lots and lots of info about it.

Now currently we take our food waste and drop it into a previously used 1 gallon Zip-Lock bag and place it in the freezer untill it's time to dump it. Admittedly the waste sometimes fills up 3 bags in the freezer before it gets dumped. No big deal , in the freezer it doesn't stick or rot and the process helps to aid decomposition once it hits the compost pile outside.

The new endeavor is to see just how well Vermicomposting will work. I have invested a decent amount of money into this venture that I have been saving from birthday/Christmas gifts for sometime.

Now I have 2000 earth worms in a bin in my basement. No they can't get out, yes they are slimy. Really really slimy. But so far now during this first week there are no stinky smells, but I can't say I have seen any major progress in decomposing the materials. I have to be patient, it'll take a week for the worms to get used to their new environment, and another week before they really start eating anything other than the dirt in the bin.

The benefit as it is sold is that worm castings are fantastic for your garden and or house plants. The Organic community is growing stronger and stronger. Although I am far to poor to participate fully in organic eating and or gardening, I am a friend to the movement and an overall supporter of the local farmer/ garden for food with the exception of having feathers in my beard and chanting while I dance naked around a campfire.

Confession: I purchased worms from Pennsylvania.

As we walked through the hardware store this afternoon, I said within the course of conversation that we were not hippies. She responded...
" I don't know Joses, we are pretty granola."

Hmm.

Cobwebs

2010-10-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

This house is a good house. Aside from the plumbing issues in the first couple of weeks I have very few complaints. We don't know what the gas bills are going to look like yet, but I am sure they will be bigger than we want them. We were able to pay the first months mortgage as well as the second months principal altogether. What a good feeling it is to know that we are starting out ahead, if nothing else we have eliminated a single payment off of our term. We now officially stand at 358 monthly payments to go. The focus has been on our cars most recently, not on remodeling our house. That will come soon. We have been enjoying the ability to wash clothes without paying $3.50 per load. We have learned that having trash and water paid for is a luxury that should never be taken for granted. Not sure where we stand financially just right this moment. I have fallen behind on our budget and am feigning interest in taking care of that just yet. Wednesday may be the day, but more likely Friday and Saturday. It feels like there is so much catching up to do, but really I don't think that there is. We have a good handle on the responsibilities that we are facing it's just a matter of the details getting worked out. Most of which are indeterminable. Whatever is to come we will seek to be at peace with our lot.
Actually... we have two lots : )

Corrigated Moments

2010-10-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

It's 10:30 pm. We have packed 5 or 6 boxes tonight. The moving crew is coming tomorrow at 9.
I think that we have moved from putting it off beyond being unmotivated and are nearing anti-motivation. It's not that we don't want to move, we do! We are happy to have a house and that particular house in fact. We just don't like our stuff enough to be able to find it when we are in that house. So things are going to begin to be tossed into box in a disorganized fashion and the labeling system is almost a joke.
What silly people we can be sometimes. We have had a closing date set for nearly 7 weeks, we have owned the house for nearly 2 and we have moved the eat-ware and cutlery into the house along with a vacuum and broom. Maybe it's because things have become so cluttered with the boxes and empty boxes and stacks of boxes and broken boxes.
I have realized through the past several weeks that I lack a certain ambition that makes people extremely successful. I believe I am capable, and able. I think I am just content in mediocrity. I guess I just don't feel like it's all that bad. Maybe I should build a fort with the bo...
Got to go!

For that car?

2010-10-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

I stopped to have my car inspected today. The mechanic after 5 minutes of having the car on the lift came to me with a bill for $736.76 for parts and labor. I went to auto zone got all of the parts for less than $100 and will have everything installed by my hands or a professional for a grand total of less than $200. I have only had one mechanic try to swindle me in the past, he was in Las Vegas and he tried to tell us that our car was on it's last leg, it wouldn't make it another 100 miles but he was willing to trade us another car that he had for an additional $1600. We left and continued driving another 1000 miles before learning that it was altitude changes affecting the fuel injectors.
Today was different, he explained that it wouldn't pass that there were to many things wrong, I asked for a written list. When I ventured to ask for details and clarification he cut me off and said "it's pretty complicated".
Now, this is a new experience for me. I am more often than not told that I tend to come off as intimidating and that people tend to be cautious of me at the onset of a meeting. So for an adult, not too much older than me, to be willing to come forth with such augmented prices and giving written costs with fractions of dollars to each part and item on the list while using incorrect abbreviations for the items and tell me that this was standard and the only way I could save a couple of dollars was to do it my self and it might cost more after I bought or rented tools (free from auto zone) I left.
Now I would not be surprised if this had happened to my wife. She is not familiar with auto parts or general pricing for labor/repairs. But she can understand when things are explained to her and she can make wise decisions that are not fueled by fear or unfamiliar information.
I am pissed because I had to pay for the inspection, which means I have to have the repairs completed and then return there or pay someone else $12 to re-inspect.
As my friend Ethan would accurately state... Dilemma.

This Older House

2010-10-04T18:47:00.000-07:00

It has now been one week since completing the purchase of our first home. I guess I thought it would be a little bit more sobering, or maybe it would leave me feeling stressed out at the thought of all the new debt. Another thought was that maybe I would feel a sense of pride or accomplishment.
The truth of the matter (for the millions of desperately interested readers) is that aside from the day the purchase was made. I really haven't had much thought about tia at all. It hasn't been stressful or joyful really. Maybe it has to hit me later. It may happen when I am sitting in the living room watching the fire burn down, or maybe it will happen when we have our first flood from faulty or clogged plumbing.
Although I don't have the most experienced eye, I pay attention to tiny details, like the line within our loan agreement that stated I was required to maintain the property for the duration of the loan. I don't legally have the option of letting things go unnoticed and that seems strange to me. Maybe I don't feel like it is mine yet.
I have found that I don't really care to much if anyone else loves this house. My wife loves this house, and she loves me, and she wants to live with me in that house. That makes the house and whatever does or doesn't come with it...
just what I was looking for.

Wait, what?

2010-09-12T17:58:00.001-07:00

Life is full of things that fill one's life. When I reminisce of the day's before moving to Kansas City area I remember having time to cruise the internet for things that didn't matter and videos that made me laugh. I don't feel like I have time to check e-mail anymore. I haven't opened most of my chat accounts in so long I have forgotten the passwords and I have to go through a process that sends me 3 e-mails just to get in and find out that nobody I used to talk to is "online" anymore.
I guess it's good to know it's not just me.
I wonder if other people suffer the same misplacement's that I do? As I have been forced to change my focus for some period of time, whether to work or school or spouse or friend. After some time has passed and I reclaim a certain amount of time in a day or week; I learn that I have simply forgotten the things I used to do. I can't remember what my hobbies were. I remember having plenty to do, but what was it I did? I'm not unhappy, and I am less bored than I remember being. I know I have changed but I still feel like I live a full life of enjoyment including responsibilities so I wouldn't say that I sincerely miss what I used to do
I guess it's good to know I'm still me.

2008-06-17T18:05:00.001-07:00

Procrastination is a deeply involved part of who I am. It not only comes naturally, but I like it and have intentionally cultivated it in a few certain areas of my life. It has only really given me slight financial troubles. Now, however, I am at a point thought that my procrastination for my Continuing Educational Requirements for massage license is at an immediate problem. I have had four years to complete 54 units, and as of today my total accumulated hours is at Zero.
It will cost around $800 to complete the requirements and it will take about two weekends, which will cost me in hours at work, about $300. So, what am I going to do? Probably nothing. I don't want to let my License lapse, but I think that it will happen. I will still have to complete the educational requirements, but, I don't know when, and it will only get more difficult and more expensive. What's the deal Joses!?! Just do it man!
The most insane thing about this whole situation is that if I take a course I will become enamored with my profession again and I will ache to practice again. I secretly am dreading that because I don't want to be flaky. it's not in my personality, and it's actually a trait that annoys me a lot.
If I sign up for any classes I'll let you know.

I'm Weak

2008-05-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

Recently.
Recently I have been distressed.
Distressed by the lack of concern for poor decisions that my friends make.
I don't claim to be the most wise person I know or even close to it. But it has overwhelmed me at moments how content many are to make poor decisions for themselves. When I made the same choices. But I am not that young anymore. And I learned that it was not to my benefit to be a fool. Why then can people confess their belief in good decisions, condemn others poor decisions, but continue to consistently make potentially devastating choices.
Some are found out, some are not, some are rumored about, and others are openly talked about under the claim of confession but without lasting remorse or change of pace.
I am feeling distraught.
I am waining under the weight of judgment.
It might not be my place, but maybe it's my place.
I want support in growing, but I can't find anyone on my path who is willing to walk with me for a time.
I am growing intolerant.
I am turning bitter towards simple minded foolishness.
Am I simply foolish minded?

Compressed

2008-03-07T20:09:00.000-08:00

Last week at work my manager was pulling her car out to re-park it behind the building before the lunch rush started, and someone ran into her. It smashed her car pretty bad, and the guy didn't really care, he kept saying "I don't know how it happened". Clearly the man ran right into her with his car. That's what happened.

After she went and parked, she told us the story, about an hour later, someone came from the store behind us and told us that one of the cars or our newest employee was the victim of vandals. We went out to check and found that someone had busted out her window and stolen a binder that had personal info including social security and such things as that. One other car of the five that were parked in the row had a shattered window but it wasn't broken out, it also belonged to an employee. most people stopped parking there, the managers and I still parked in the back along with one or two other brave employees. I had some suspicions about who it might have been but nothing to real go on other than a hunch.
Today, My window was broken out. Nothing was stolen, just broken. I didn't get to upset about it, I just don't see where it is going to stop. I still think that I know who did it, and I think that I have a stronger case against that person. I am pretty sure that if I caught the person doing it, I would hurt them. I didn't file a police report, I didn't see the point. my insurance doesn't cover things like that. What do I do? I could make a poor accusation based on my intuition. Or I can just deal, like everybody else. I have never had anything stolen from me, and I have never had anything like this happen before. It's not the biggest deal in the world, it's just some glass. I just don't understand what lets a person think that it's OK to do thinks like that.
I guess this one's a vent.

A Sound That Forces Tears

2008-02-26T19:17:00.000-08:00

Almost two years ago I lived in New Hampshire for 10 weeks towards the end of the summer. I decided while I was out there to play some open-mic nights at a couple of different nightspots. The experience was really fun. First of all I got to sit and listen to the live music all night, and then I got to scratch the itch that I think everybody gets when they see someone perform, to do it too! The best part was I did not have to wait for anything, I got to do it right away, that night. I played 3 different times, and I learned that I could do it, but that I hate to do it alone. Earlier that summer, I asked a long time friend of mine, Ashley, to sing with me for a talent show. It was awesome, people cried, everybody was cheering, there were high fives going up all over the place.
That summer has left me anxious for some time, and somewhat unsatisfied to play music. I love it so much, and I have come across so many great songs that I think would be awesome to cover, but not alone. I am not a great singer, I think though, that I have a charisma that can add to a song or give some grits to a performance. I like to back up. I want to play. I love to play. Sometimes I need to play.
Now, right now, I need to hear someone else sing and only assist them.
I am listening very carefully to the voices around me eagerly searching and hoping to find the sound I hear in my head that overpowers my voice when I sing alone. It is powerful sonic I can't quite describe, I merely catch a glimpse of it when certain people stretch outside of their comfortable range and just barely, but completely achieve their vocal destination. There is a rush in a listeners body that comes when they hear an uncommon vocal achievement. It is the vulnerability, the risk that makes that sound so sweet.
I am listening for a Siren that can draw people toward the supra-soft sound of the emotionally enlisting nature in the almost rock guitar I play in a way that I only wish I could sing. Some people have the ability to incite that certain rush with every melodic word they preach from the pulpit of their voice to the congregation of ears not defiled by the weight of the ear buds that so commonly assist their quest for reverbial treasures.

Sideshow Joses

2008-02-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

Today I had the urge to walk out of my job. It was a dumb urge, but I had it. It came after a brief discussion about why I was working there. My manager was talking to me about becoming a shift manager. She suggested that I quit school and come work there for her. I shared that the only reason I worked there was because it fit around classes. Jokingly she said "so your just using us?" to which I replied"yea, for a pay check!". We all laughed about it
After that I just had the urge to walk out the door and never come back. Leave it off of my applications and start with a job that I want to. As I was driving home I realized..I really don't like my job. I like a few of the people I work with, but not enough to stay there to work with them. I don't know what I want to do right now, and I don't like school nor could I afford to live if I went full time. So part time school it is along with full time work. I just feel like I should make more money for the work that I do. I am a darn good worker, and I think that since I have had several jobs that pay a lot better than this one, I don't see why I shouldn't have one now. What's the deal with this? I feel more like a slave to work than ever before. It's real dumb. It doesn't seem right, and I am looking for a way to change that. I am just not sure what the next step will be. Maybe I should run away with the circus.

Buying a house?

2008-02-11T13:58:00.001-08:00

Today was another day waisted driving around looking for a good house to rent. I have two new roommates to consider, and possibly the old roommate is returning to live with as well. There could be 4 of us living in this house. And as it stands, I am not having as much luck as I want to have finding a place. At the end of the month I have to give 30 days notice here at my apartment, I could upgrade to a larger apartment, or I could live at an entirely different address altogether. I like the size of our current dwellings, but I am not real keen on changing apartment numbers and dealing with mail confusions. It took almost a year to get that all straightened out last time.
Today I called a real estate agent to ask him if he could give me some advice, and I am cautious to say I am seriously considering purchasing a home on a short term loan.
As long as I have people living with me it would get paid of relatively soon.
Is this a bad idea? Am I getting in over my head? Should I just be content to rent? I'm not content to rent when it is over $800 a month, but if it is $700 split between 3 or 4 that makes it a bit easier. But then again, if I am willing to take on the responsibility of a home at the same cost per month would that be the wiser choice? I guess that depends on how long my roommates stick with me. The idea of having a dwelling which could be improved is altogether motivating though. What should I do?

Mmm, cooking

2008-02-08T08:33:00.000-08:00

The other day I made a great big stew, then, I ate it all. It was too much food for a person to eat. Then I thought, "I wonder how many regular meals this would have made?" I felt guilty a little, but it was good. So I didn't eat anything else that day or the next. Not because of the guilt, but because I didn't have any stew left. I was sad about it.

"Today is the greatest day I've ever known"

2008-02-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

I remember some that I liked more, but today is the last one I know I made it through alive, That's great!
I used to say that my mom and some random bloggers were the only people that read my blog, but I found out today that my mom doesn't read it anymore... Is that depressing?
I think she got tired of looking it up for two years while I was busy climbing mountains and then riding down them (but mostly watching youtube videos about things like that) that she gave up on me. And now that I started to write again - she doesn't care. She still likes me I think, even though they haven't been answering the phone since they got caller ID and voice mail. I guess some things run strong in our family.
When people leave me comments it inspires me to make fun of them and write moreinteresting blogs... Any takers?

Unlike everyone else, I hate being sick

2008-02-04T14:32:00.000-08:00

Sarcasm is one of my stronger personality traits.

This week I have been sick.
I had two upcoming quizzes, and really didn't think I would be able to make it to school.
Last night I got sick of being sick, so,
I added two blankets to my bed, raised the thermostat to 80, put an electric heating pad on my chest and put on my warmest winter hat. I am not going to pretend that the next 48 minutes were my favorite of the week, but they may have been the most beneficial to me.
As I lay in bed attempting to breath steadily through the cocoon of muggy hotness that enveloped me, struggling not to moan because of the splitting pain covering my entire head and the muscle pains and random spasms I had been experiencing for the past two days, I remembered some time when I was young feeling the same way on a hot summer night. Anyone acquainted with me knows I never complain about the natural heat, but the pains of a smothered fever are not agreeable to me nor anyone I've met so far.
It seems like anytime I get really sick I think I can just wait it out and it will improve. I usually take some vitamins and drink lots of fluids, you know the stuff you should do, but it always seems to have a minimal effect. In my experience, it is only once I take some drastic step to assist my welfare that I experience a noticeable improvement. The whole time I was laying there, and thinking about summer, I was really annoyed with how sick I was and with how cold it has been here in KC.
Winter is a time when I seem to shut down, a sort of mental and emotional hibernation.
I thrive in the heat with green everything around me and the smells and sounds of everything alive moving around me. I long for it when it's gone, and when it is here I am thankful for it everyday. I am religious about my appreciation for temperate conditions.
So there I am waiting it out, artificially heated, being suffocated by the dry stale air, breathing way to heavy and to fast to be healthy, not sure if I will be able to tolerate it any longer, just hoping for some temporary relief as the illness runs it's course, hoping for a segue
-- and finally, it breaks!
Stinky, smelly, soggy sweat!! The best feeling, such a relief, relaxation all over my body, sweat from every pour, not a dry spot on me. I kept the covers tightly on my for another ten minutes and really burned it out then ripped them off to cool down.
The night was an easy one to sleep through, much appreciated by this long-time insomniac.
This morning I got up unusually well rested, made it to school early, flew through the quizzes, did fantastically and that's not even the best of it.
I am quickly recovering, I slept phenomenally, I focused perfectly in class, but best of all, today, February 4th, it got up to 60 degrees and I have the day off from work!

This works on me a bit

2008-01-24T21:13:00.000-08:00

Tonight at church there was made mention of the notion of fearing God. When fear was described as a combination of respect and awe I was caught off guard by my own definition. I have carried this meaning in my mind only rarely sharing it. My definition of the fear that believers are called to have is slightly more modern than than respect and awe, but not unlike it in meaning. I feel there was a loss of meaning when ancient terminology is used. Words like awe, or reverence are typically used by Christians and become part of everyday speech for "the saved". I don't like that. It contributes to what I feel is misunderstood as a snobby attitude held by Christians. Since I think this is a great misfortune I work to understand things in common language. This helps me to grasp it better and helps me to relate it more efficiently to others who might not have the lingual background of the Bible.
To define fearing the lord, and what it means to do just that, I have a very short term that is rarely explained any further...

Severe Admiration.

Fun Buzz

2008-01-21T08:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I decided I should look real good at church since my birthday is coming up soon, and everybody responded well to that. My favorite reaction was that of Kenny. I have to say that the best reactions I got were from the guys who for some reason are shocked to see me in a suit! We went out to dinner after church where I ran into 5 random people that I have known through the years. So on top of good food, and already stellar company, I got to catch up with some old friends. Since we were so lucky to have an old friend as our server a the restaurant I somehow got a hold of a free hot fudge sundae without having to endure the extremely annoying restaurant version of a birthday song. After leaving the dinner party I dropped off a friend, went home and crashed upon my couch. This took much longer than anticipated, I struggled with the cushions on the couch for nearly 4 hours before I was successful in overcoming their power, with still a couple of hours before fun-time was scheduled to begin at the carter home, and still enjoying the satiation of the lunch steak, I spent some time stretching (ahhh), then watching the gruesome sweetness that is the movie 300. This was a good follow up to the bloodiest UFC fight I have ever seen the night before. If anybody else happened to see the fight you know what I'm talking about! Whoa-Nelly! This brings us to the end of the night. Over to the carter abode. Eight 0'clock arrivals enjoyed the hyper pre-bed ritual of four young children too excited about company and round rubber balls to listen to maternal direction. Target bed time and actual bedtime were separated by only about an hour, but that was enough time for lots of throws balances, three rounds of dancing, a bloody lip, and a box of caramel delights. As soon as Andrea was gone the party started with Apples to Apples. If you have never played this game, you should run out and buy it right away and come and play it with me. It's a scientific fact that you will have a great time. Three hours later, the last three party animals departed into the night, well, after some pretty major car troubles they departed. It's never good to blow a fun-buzz with a busted head gasket, it's never good to blow a head gasket, it's never good to blow a fun-buzz.

Me, the Mountain, and a Snowboard

2008-01-13T19:42:00.000-08:00

This past week I went Snowboarding in Colorado at Copper mountain. I seriously think that this was the best and most refreshing vacation I have had in a couple of years. I think the most comparable previous vacation was Florida 4 years ago. I never have been, nor will I ever be a fan of snow. I have only recently decided that it has usefulness, but only in the mountains. This trip was amazing, I was able to do things with the board that I should not have even been trying. The group that I was with is an amazing compilation of peoples. None of us are really similar in nature or in personality at all but some how we all get along pretty well. I am not about to get mushy, nobody wants that from me, especially not me. I hate being mushy.
There is something extremely freeing about speeding down the side of a mountain with only the slightest control of the friction that sticks you to the surface while looking out over the stacked stones of earth sharply pointing toward the heavens, miles above sea level, Surfing the heaviest clouds on earth. Grrr! If fear could stop you from anything don't let it stop you from moving fast without machines. There is nothing I've learned that is so exhilarating as speed and water, in any form. Get wet, get fast, or get both.

Batman Returns... and so I am back too.

2008-01-12T11:50:00.000-08:00

To all of those who have checked this blog in the past two years seeing no improvements to the post wall, thank you. I'm glad you checked, I have just been doing live performances. I decided that telling the truth was boring and I decided to not tell the truth in person a lot more. I hope that my textual hiatus has not been to hard on anyone. I do feel sorry for anonymous, they had lots to say to me. There have been lot's of good stories kept all to myself for the past while, and I think that it is high time I return and share part of the truth with anyone who is bored enough to read what I write. Enjoy what is to come.

Absolutely Anything*

2006-03-24T07:14:00.000-08:00

Okay, first of all as a general rule of thumb, nothing that I write in this blog matters. It doesn't matter if I say that you mom is hott and that I would like to get to know her in a more personal way, it doesn't matter if I plagiarise someone else's work, it doesn't matter if I am arrogant and cocky, it doesn't matter if I sellp ervey wrod of my bolg wrogn, and it doesn't matter if I outright lie and say things that are not true.
When you speak to me in person (if you ever have the divine privilege), I don't speak anything like what you find in these blogs, but you will know that I am the author because of my personality.
I am determined to make this blog an area without rules or obligations on my part, and It is the only aspect of my life which is or ever will be so. I intend to enjoy it. I will come here whenever I want, and I think that for your well being you should come here as much as possible and leave comments that will encourage me to blog more.
You can say whatever you want in the comments, it doesn't matter, I contradict myself as many times as I can in each blog so you should feel free to say ABSOLUTLEY(hint hint)ANYTHING that you want to. It is imperative that you completely disregard what I say.*
*The only thing I don't want you to do is to leave comments feeling sorry for me because you know me personally and you think this stuff is true. Try to avoid letting this affect who you think I am when you see me in person.
Just enjoy the read, and have fun inventing some comments for me.
I have decided to give $1000 dollars to whoever has the most, or most interesting comments in 2006.
So lets see what you can come up with.

"I think I'm a cool Guy" HomeStarRunner

2005-10-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

You know what I like?.. Really cool people! I mean REALLY cool people. Like the ones that are so cool you feel better about yourself just for knowing them.
Not the kind that make you feel like you are lame for nto being as cool as them, or the kind that make you wish you were better looking or somethin like that. But just flat out cool people.

I pretty much only know a few of them, most of them are under the age of four, so they will probley grow out of it. The rest of them are always single, way single!

They are the ones that everybody else wants to be with but can't cause they are not cool enough, but when those other people are with the cool people, they feel like they are cooler than they actually are, so they think that they have a pretty good chance with the cool people, but they don't.

Sometimes though, those not so cool people trick the really cool people into thinking that they like the people that are not so cool. Then they start to be with them and they loose some of their coolness because they always talk about the not so cool people as if they were cooler than even they, the cool people are. WTF?

That brings on all sorts of different kinds of trouble, because then some other not so cool people that are either jealous of the not so cool people that are with the cool people, or are just sad that some not so cool people are ruining their favorite cool person, get upset and try to show the not cool person how much cooler they are than the not so cool person that they think they like.

That never works out because the cool person tells this well meaning not so cool person that it's not whats on the outside that matters it's what's on the inside.

Even though that's the truth, I think that not so cool people can tell what's on the inside of other people just as well as cool people can. They can tell cool people apart from not so cool people alot of the time. In fact they might even be better at it than the cool people or the pretend cool people are.

Not so cool people don't get the cream of the crop, most the time they get the attention that's left over after the cool people get the best attention. It's still attention, but sometimes it's sad attention and it makes them cry.

They are the ones that get the rudeness, and the mean remarks because nobody cares if a not so cool person because people only feel cooler about themselves around not so cool people because they think that they are better than them.
That makes things even worse because people might do mean things to not so cool people to make them look even worse so that they feel like they are even more better than the not so cool people.

When I meet a cool person I always tell them how cool I think they are.
I usually think that not so cool people are cool though. Especially if they have alot of people that do mean things, and they are able to still be sweet and kind.
Those are some of the people that I think are cool though.

Fundraiser

2005-10-17T18:16:00.000-07:00

While considering different options for fundraising recently I received several suggestions from my co-workers and to be honest I hated all of their ideas, so much in fact that I wanted to punch them in the face for not having such bad ideas.
When I realized I had that feeling, I was suddenly hit with maybe the best fundraising idea EVER!, in the history of EVER!!

announcing!!... The First Annual Punch In The Face For Youth Fundraiser.
Starting November 1st we will be looking for volunteers to help arrange this innovative fundraising event. If you are interested please leave you information in the comment box along with a short explanation of why you would like to be a part of PITFFY.

Here's how it all works;
Volunteers will begin collecting nominations and pledges beginning December 1st.
A list of recipients will be compiled from the nominations received.
Pledges will be made by those who've made nominations.
Nominees will be given the choice of participating or getting punched in the face for free.
Once a person makes a pledge the are automatically ineligible to be a punchee.
Punchers will be selected via random lottery from a list of hopefuls.
On new years eve the winners will have the opportunity to punch their nominee in the face.

I personally know that there are a number of people that would like to punch me in the face.
In the spirit of the event, I am volunteering to let not 1 but 2 of this years most generous supporters to punch me directly in the face. Sign up and make a pledge for your chance!

The event will take place on Saturday, December 31st at approximately 4 pm.
All are invited to attend, bring you family friends, and your cameras!
There will be live music, top entertainers as well as celebrity appearances scheduled, refreshments will be provided.
(We ask that only selected participants and recipients take part in the face punching portion of the event.)

Let's be honest friends, everybody knows someone they would like to see punched in the face, and many of us know someone personally that we would like to punch in the face.
It might be someone at work, your boss, your secretary, maybe your local news caster, an in-law, your ex or even your best friend that you'd like to punch in the face.
This could be your chance to do just that, and lets face it people, it's for a good cause.

And what better time to do it than new years eve when just a few short hours later you can turn over a new leaf and make a new years resolution to put all the punching behind you,
at least that is, next years event rolls around!

Keep An Eye Out For These...
We hope you can join us for other fundraising events coming soon including:
Kick em in the nuts (male nominees only please)
Bitch Slap Tom Cruise (don't sue me Tommy)
Knock Out Your Tax Collector (just in time for tax season)
and Cage Match With Your In-laws (set for next holiday season)

SEE YOU THERE!!!

Identity Protected

2005-10-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

I have three roommates.
My roommate is dating my ex-roommate. My other roommate is married to my brother. My other other roommate is her husband who's sister is dating my roommate.
My ex-roommate knew my roommate for 11 years before they started dating, my other roommate for 13 years, but they weren't friends really just acquaintances, and she grew up with me and my other other roommate who is now also her ex-roommate.
I've known my roommate for about 7 years and my other roommate for five years before she married my other other roommate who is my sisters ex-roommate
My roommate has known my other roommate for 26 years they have been roommates about 3 years now, he's known my other other roommate for 11 years. My roommate is not married to my other roommate, she is married to my other other roommate. My roommate is dating my ex-roommate.

When I started living here my roommate was single, my other roommate was dating my other other roommate, but my other roommate wasn't my roommate yet.
My roommates last ex-roommate used to be my other roommates neighbors, but that was back when my ex-roommate, my other other roommate, my first ex-roommates and I were all roommates.
When my ex-roommate was neighbors with my roommate and a previous roommate, my ex-roommate was getting ready to work for my neighbor's ex-roommate.
My neighbors are my roommates first ex-roommates, but now they are just his neighbors.
My roommates first ex-roommates used to spend a lot of time with my other roommate's first ex-roommates, that's how my roommate met my other roommate and her neighbor which later became his previous roommate and my ex-roomates neighbor as well.
My other roommates first ex-roommates used to be my first ex-roommates neighbors, but that was back before my first ex-roommates were roommates, they were just neighbors.

So now you know about me, my brother and sister, my sister in-law, my roomate, our parents, one aunt and Paul.

It's F-Fu-F-Cold!

2005-10-11T16:12:00.000-07:00

Well geez! It's freaking cold outside. In case you haven't taken the opportunity to read some of my long ago postings let me (at the risk of being redundant) tell you how much I hate the cold.
The other day we woke up and the temperature had dropped below 40, when I woke up My forehead was numb... my forehead! It was the only part out from under the covers in the air so cold that it made my forehead numb. Isn't your head sapposed to be one of the warmest parts of your body? Haven't I heard that 1/3 of your body heat escapes through your head? Maybe thats only when you are standing up and the heat has no choice but to rise up through your body cause thats what heat does. So does that mean everyone is a hot-head? I think it does, at least when they are standing up. Maybe they shouldn't be hot-headed when they sleep though.
One thing I know for sure was that the other morning I was definatly NOT happy about not being a hot-head. I was pissed! I got out of bed and I said mean things to the air, I know I probley shouldn't have but I think it needed to hear what I had to say and besides it was all it's fault anyway. I thought I would feel a little bad about it later but I didn't.
I don't know if I have ever been quite so hot-headed about not being hot-headed at a time when a person shouldn't even be hot headed.
No, I take that back, one time my brother set the furnace so that it would drop to 55 at 11pm because he heard on chicago radio that it would save money and people usually slept better when it was cooler. The problem there s we have radiators, and it takes a couple days for them to get up to temp cause we have a huge giant old house, so once they cooled down enough for the thermostat to drop, it was gonna take like 4 hours for them to warm back up and in that time the house temp went even lower.
That caused some tension here in the house let me tell you what.
After I had been up for a while I decided it was time to turn the furnace o for the winter.
So I and a roomate got out the matches, and I think they were broken. They wouldn't lite, and they were those little strike anywherematches, I tried it on my zipper, on the concrete floor, on the brick wall, on the metal furnace, even on the side of my face (like in the movies where the tough guys are all like "look at me, I am so hardcore my face is rouch like a stone") and out of like six matches I only got one of them to light.
Once the furnace was running I let go of the pilot light and it freaking went out, the little bugger was to cold to stay lit. So we let it run for a while and then tried it later, but still nothing. I Finally ended up holding the dang thing on for like ten minutes to get it to stay lit. Then I got worried it wouldn't stay lit so I left for the weekend just in case the house got blowed up. I mean I wouldn't want to be in the house if it blew up would you? I showed my roomate how to check and make sure it was still going though, I didn't tell him why I was leaving I made up some story about going to see my girlfriend or something like that just to keep him from wondering.
I think it worked cause he was still here when I got back.
After six hours it was like 4 degrees warmer in the house, so I was still pissed. That was right about the time I left. My car has heat.

Freakin Liars

2005-10-07T16:10:00.000-07:00

My brother the other day told me a story about how he jumped off a 40 foot ladder and avoided injury by rolling as soon as his feet hit the ground.
A couple short years ago, another brother told me how a grade-schooler threw a rock that weighed as much as two persons heads (20-30 lbs) at his chest with one hand while he unsuspectedly ate watermelon. After being hit with the rock, unable to catch his breath while choking on watermelon, was drug around the state park by this tiny little man.
My baby brother called me a few days ago to tell me about fighting a monster that was trying to catch my sisters boyfriend, after fighting for a while he just yelled at the monster and told it to go away or he would kill it.
My dad jumped off a garage with an umbrella when he was a kid after watching marry popins and broke both of his ankles, he later was in a bike wreck and lost his front teeth, then fell into a ravine when the vine he was swinging across broke injuring his knee, then just a few years later was hit by lightning through a building while working on his college campus as a security guard ruining his brand new tennis shoes and burning his mouth from the metal in the replacement teeth.
When I was 14 I got Shot!, in the knee, with a nail gun, that I was holding.
I tore a muscle in my shoulder when I was trying to win a crazy flip contest at a pool [for which there was no prize, (totally not worth it)],
I was run over by a car!, my foot got caught under the wheel when I stepped out of the still moving vehicle.
I was in flipping car wreck, several wrecks just one flipping wreck.
I cut my heal to the bone on a piece of rubber when falling off of a jet ski and finally, the kicker broke my dang foot the first time I sparred in Karate.

Here's what I think... My dad did some crazy stuff and it didn't work out for him so he got hurt a lot. My brothers are full of crap, they never get hurt so I think they make up everything they say. When I see some brokenness instead of some hard to believe stories after the fact, then maybe I might buy some of this crap they keep feeding me.
I mean really, do they think it's impressive to tell stories like that? Maybe if they were true and they had some scars or something to show for it. But who wants to hear about an impossible feat that you don't have video to prove, no witnesses to support and no injuries to back you up.
Everybody believes the stuff I tell them cause I am still bleeding or limping when the hear about it, But come on, unless you have some of that sweet stuff or at least some evidence to support your freaking claim, shut up!
What really I think happens is they all got used to hearing dads stories and being impressed and then fabricated or at least exaggerative their own experiences because they want to be cool too.

Take it from me brothers, you don't want to be cool. You seriously need to hurt yourselves if you want to be cool, it's just the only way, I mean look at me, I get hurt all the time, I think I'm a cool guy.
I'm not saying this just so you guys will have to suffer pain for my amusement. No way. Not at all. Not in the least. I don't think that you should play in the street so that you can get clipped by a car, and I don't think that you should try to make your own hang glider and test it off the barn back home, nor do I think that you should tease the prize winning bulls that our neighbor bud has next door, I probably shouldn't have said any of this, I didn't really need to bring it up I guess. And I don't think that I should suggest that you guys should try to catch those raccoons that keep tearing into the trash barrels either.
You guys should probably try to avoid all of these things and the like as they might potentially cause you harm and leave you with permanent scars as reminders of the crazy things you have done not to mention elaborate stories that you will have to re-live over and over in groups of people who want to know why you can't open your hand all the way or why you can't play football with the kiddies. Nope, you guys don't want that, trust me.

Oldy

2005-08-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

I can't think of anything to say.
Since that's the case I'll leave you with a story from a few years back...

I met this person once who had to be one of the most beautiful creatures on the face of the earth.
It was an early morning and I was just finishing a long hot bath. There had been a party the night before and some of the guests had stayed over. No one came in to the bathroom, and I knew I was alone. But there we were face to face. I didn't know what to do at first. I had just stood up from the water completely naked with the steam in the room so think you could hold it, and standing in front of me, also naked... The body of a GOD! I didn't know what to say, I was caught off guard yet filled with excitment! I couldn't do anything, I just stood there and stared. Finally, I made a move. I walked slowly toward the figure, reached out...and wiped off the mirror.

P.S. I decided that I am not getting enough comments on anything. So if I don't start getting more than I am just going to make crappy blogs and then tell everybody to read them. So you better leave soem comments, or else I'll be leaving you with a bunch of crap. CHEERS

Time's against us!

2005-05-23T17:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back~!!
I know it's been awhile since my last entry, sorry folks.
I have finally returned from my trip to Europe and I have to admit although I had a great time, I did get a little homesick...
I hope you all were paying very close attention because I just gave three examples of things that I will never say:
One-that I was homesick.
Two-that I visited Europe.
And the final most important-An apology for not writing.
I'll write whenever I feel like it and you need to just get off my back about it. While we are on the subject I noticed that alot of people are reading my blogs and not leaving a comment. Do you think that you are special? Is it fun for you to just come here and fondle your mouse through my hours and hours of hard work? I can't express how much this hurts me! I try to be a kind and gnerous person to as many people as possible but I can't help but feel violent towards those of you who choose not to have anything either nteresting or boring to say! I mean even that guy(I think) who freaking hates me leaves comments. No they're not nice but at least it gives me some feed back. Look, All I ask is that you say something... I'm fine with it being mean, stupid, boring, uninteresting, whatever. If you want to analize what I write or if you want to try to analize me by what I write that's fine, go ahead, I'm fine with you being wrong.
To be honest nobody can say how long this will last, least of all me!
I could be crossing the street tomorrow on my lunch break and... BAM!!!, OUT OF NOWHERE!!!, JUST LIKE THAT!!!, someone smashes right into my internet and it's all over. This stuff happens everyday and you are left with the regret of missed oppertunities.
I don't want to dramatize you with this sad story, I just don't want you to miss your chance.
I guess this is all just comming out because I visited my family last weekend, I hadn't been to visit my parents for a while and I kinda missed it back home so I went to visit before I go to Germany next month. I got to thinkin' about everything and stuff just got to me. I should have said something sooner but I just never took the time. I'm sorry I didn't write about it before guys, I'll try my best not to let that happen again... :'( Big love
Joses

Good lord take me now! ur-um, when summers over...

2005-04-25T21:55:00.000-07:00

Who could possibly dislike excellence which is spring!!
A peice of commn sense for all my close friends here at homebase... Next time you decide to snort some of that crackamphetamine consider all the whining you've been doing about your "g---amned allergies" before you cut that fresh line of crank to get you going in the morning. Yea I mean you my ever so friendly neighbors with your fancy lil 1967 lime green winnebago! Way to stick it to the man my under cover next-doorians!! They'll never think to LOOK IN THE CAMPER FOR DRUGS!! You guys are so freaking smart, I never would have thought about using such a classy peice of history for such a profession! Amazing. I am slightly confused, however, after all your deep seeded disgust with all things racist seems to contradict the contraband you push to mart. After the lecture I recieved regaurding my VW beetle which we all now know was Hitlers brainchild (volks= folks or peoples, wagon= wagon) I find myself surprised that you would vend is secound (or maybe third) claim to fame. Does it not bother you that Hitler assigned his most gifted to develope methamphetamine to keep his soldiers going without food for days on end, later realizing of course that it was making them all crazy eyed? Well It is an easy enough thing to overlook. I wont be one to harp on you though, after all, I do own two VW's.

P.S. I don't really know that their camper in a 1967 , and I'm not even sure if it's a winnebago, I just said that stuff cause I felt like it. I realize that making up things like this isn't nice, but I did it anyway. If you tell me I am a bad person for that I will karate chop your face off.

Let me share with you...

2005-03-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

So...
I thought maybe I would search blogger for something interesting the other day, but I didn't find anything. In fact after four hours I only came accross one blog that I would even want to revist. I probley went through a couple hundred different blogs... alot of them in foreign languages, alot about computer games, quite a few of those little photo album blogs (either by family's or drunk college students), a good number of advertisment blogs and quite a few poetry blogs. The blogs that I found the least interesting were those which somewhere in their profile contained a phrase something like ... "I have some interesting things to say" or "I have a unique perspective on life and living".
Those blogs almost always suck. I can't say always because I haven't read them all. But the secound a person crosses that boundry line and discloses that they think themselves to be interesting, or that they think others will find them to be interesting, they become the least interesting people around. A person who is proud of their own perspectives and feels like other people should listen to them quickly becomes the most nausiating writer/speaker.
Self interest does not qualify expertise.

To those of you like thisas well as you who may be thinking of starting your own blog, Heed this important advice...
DON'T!
You've already been outdone. I can say that with confidence because you have already seen the best that is out there. I have met enough people to know that I think differently than all of them, including you. I have indepthed everything so much that I recognize things others can't fathom. Once you've read my words you will have a new understanding of life.
You will be able to leave comments and I can respond to your inquiries. I am sure that it will take you some time to comprehend some of the things I share with you though because they are such complex and muti-leveled concepts. But in time, and with my help you will come to know secrets of the unknown, hiddin truths, and the answers to lifes many mysteries which are all clear and obvious to me. You are privilaged to be one of the lucky few who've stumbled upon this wonderful opportunity. Enjoy

Boring...

2005-03-01T20:27:00.000-08:00

I maybe just did my worst test ever. I don't really know why, for some reason I just didn't care. I wanted to care, and I love the class, but for some reason I was just out of it. Sometimes I knew that was answering the queston wrong, then I would erase the incorrect answer and then put it down exactly the same. Insanity denotes constantly repeating the same behavior expecting different results. Lack of sleep contributes I am sure. For some reason I have been waking up at 4 am everyday whether I go to bed at 10:00 or wait till 1:00. But that's really not an excuse. I have never slept good. There is nothing going on in my life that is troubleing me at this time, things are pretty pleasant.
Maybe that's the problem... Monotony (I had to look this up in the dictionary to make sure I spelled it right). It doesn't seem
My life has never been the same thing day in and day out, and it still isn't, however, it is much more so now than anytime past. When I worked on the road, I maybe did the same type of work everyday, but I was in a different place pretty all the time, and miniature adventures would arise on a regular basis. I sappose that I still have miniature adventures, they just seem... less adventurous (spell checked that too).

Is it possible for a person to die from monotony? I am sure that's a pretty over-dramatic thought... Could a person die from being to over-dramatic?
I heard not very long ago about a guy who worried constantly, he drove everyone arround him insane with his constant complaints and negative outlook on everything. This guy loaded and unloaded trucks, and somehow he got locked inside a refrigerator trailer. He ended up being stuck there all night, when they found him the next morning he was dead from hypothermia. The crazy thing about it was that the trailers refrigeration unit was never turned on and in fact hadn't been on for days. The temperature inside the trailer stayed around sixty degrees the whole time he was locked inside.
There's an important lesson in this story for everyone to remember... Don't play in refrigerators!!

"Great personality"

2005-02-26T10:00:00.000-08:00

I've been asked often;
'What's most important to you in a girlfriend?', to which I can quickly reply "Personality". Sometimes I've been asked;
'What's the first thing you notice about a girl?'
I usually say the eyes, or smile, something like that.
Thankfully I have never been asked;
'what is the first thing that attracts you to another person?'

I am glad for that. Who wants to be asked something like that? Not me!
It's not so much the question that bothers me. It's answering the question that I want to avoid.
If I am asked this question, and I choose to answer it, one of two things will happen.
Either I will lie, and deal with that on my conscience not to mention risk them finding out that I lied and be upset with me not because they didn't get the acurate answer but because I was dishonest with them. Or I will choose the less favorable option.
There is another posibility though. One that has worked well for me and every politician ever interviewed by television. Instead of answering the question I will give a statement on the same subject without directly or indirectly answering the specific question in anyway...

Q: "So Joses, what are you first attracted to in a woman?"
A: "Tom, I really think that personality is the most important thing to me in a relationship, a persons morals obviously are very important to how we relate to each other but without compatable personalities you won't have much of a future"
Q: "Really? Personality is the first thing you'd notice upon meeting someone in a restaurant?"
A: "I really think to have a future with someone you must have common ideals, I don't think it's so important that all your interest be the same so long as you can support each other in the various activities which the other participates."
Q: "How do you react to the physical appearance of a person at first sight?"
A: "A persons physical features are a mere portion of what makes a person unique. I think that it is a terrible thing to judge someone before allowing them to demonstrait their capabilities and skills.

This is the most ideal way to handle the question I think. Certianly better than the truth.
I'm not about to answer that question to anybody. If anybody was reading this I certainly wouldn't key it out.

The only people I want to answer that question around are the people who would never ask me the question in the first place..."the guys".
It's with them and only with them, during those special times, that I can act a fool and be a totally chauvanistic, shallow, explicit, stupid, insensitive, pathetic, obnoxious pig without trace of emotion, operating solely off my sex drive and not feel bad about it.
What a glorious thing to have, a group of people that will allow you to say everything opposite of decent and laugh along while you say it. Truth or not, they don't care.

These are the only people I want to tell the shallow truth to. They are the ones that are gonna support me in my view. It's their oppinion that is least important to me in the long run. They are not the people I am concerned about hurting, and so they are the people I am able to be the most honest with. If the good people in my life knew how shallow I was they certainly wouldn't want to know me.
I know good and well that if any of them had the same superficial attractions as I do they would never think to speak about it, much less ask me what I was first attracted to in another person.
Or would they?

Brotherly love

2005-02-25T18:41:00.000-08:00

Brotherly love
I never really have too much to say when I start a new blog. I usually don't even have anything on my mind when I start to type. This is my explanation for long post-less periods. I don't really feel bad about disappointing my fans because I am pretty sure that my roommates and my mom are the only people who read them. They don't even like me very much, especially my mom.The other day I was talking to my younger brother online, he and his new girlfriend were sitting and chatting to each others friends. They were sharing a chair, using two different screen names, but one computer, and rotating as to who was talking to whom... disgustingly cute.My brother has never been much of the dating type, and he's always been on the goofy side (intentionally or not), I can't say much about his girlfriend because I don't know her. I met her and hung out with her for a little bit before they started dating, she seems pretty cool.It's funny because I am being careful not to say anything about her that might offend her on the off chance that she might read this. Like, if my mom got all dumb, and mean, and told my brother that I was talking about him on my blog, then he reads it, and shows it to her, and she gets all offended, and pissed at me, and then I have to apologize for saying things that she didn't like because I know that if I didn't apologize(and do a good job of it too!) she would do everything in her power to marry my brother just so that she could hate on my for the rest of my life and ruin family get-togethers to teach people like me a lesson. PLUS, she'd make their kids hate me so that I couldn't be the "cool uncle" Joses That I know I already am (even though there's no one to uncle over). DAMIT! Why does she have to be like that? I never did anything to her!!I seriously don't know what her problem is, I thought she was cool when they first got together; I was even rooting for them to get together sooner than they did. I try to be supportive and now I have to deal with this psychopathic happiness hater till one of us dies... My bro could die and it wouldn't change things. Because she'd still be part of the family, you all know how that goes.One thing I'll never understand about girls is how they can take one little thing and blow it so far out of proportion. It's usually something that isn't even meant the way they take it either. Then they go and through this big elaborate drama about things like it's a life-or-death situation. Ridiculous I say... Ridiculous

White stuff

2004-11-30T08:18:00.000-08:00

Snow is a demonic plague that falls upon it's innocent unsuspecting victims disguised as a wonderful pleasure only to reveal it's ture nature as a cold blanket of death.

I don't really care for snow.

The main reason for this is because it makes me cold, and I don't like to be cold. What I like even less than being cold is being cold and wet. Some people like their muscles spasming out of a desperate attempt to create heat, personally thats not my cup of tea. (mmm, tea is warm and wet)

I've had it said to me that snow is beautiful. A friend once told me that they loved the snow because when it fell it created a blanket over everything that covered up all the problems so that everything was pure and white.
My impression is similar but it doesn't make me feel good. I know what is there underneath that blanket, I know that things are not gone, they are just covered up a bit. Soon enough all of this white stuff will turn to a greyish colour, melt away and create a sloppy mess which makes it more difficult to take care of those problems that it was covering.

This is my impression because I don't care for the stuff. It's not to be taken as an over whelming truth, it is merely an expression of my state of mind, similar to the statement of my friend above it's just an expression of their process of reasoning.

To be honest I should give a disclaimer. I said "a friend once told me", actually the following comment has been given by many snow lovers not just one. The statement was a condensed paraphrase of a collection of comments.

So my "friends" discription of snow provides me no comfort. I think this because I don't care to have my problems cover up like maybe my friend does.
My friend also drinks when things get tough and they feel overwhelmed, because they tell me that it gives them a break from their problems. They know that it doesn't help their problems, but they know that it keeps them from feeling them for awhile.

This seems like lifting the edge of the rug to finish sweeping the floor. This is a thing that ought to be laughed at in cartoons. When it happenes in reality it should not be ignored or made lite of.

Usually this train of though begins and escilates to a point so far from the beggining that you forget where you started from and some times the reason for starting.
As a youngster I was given jobs and chores that I didn't want to do. To demonstrait my maturity
I would try to get out of the job, sometimes I would start playing while I was on the job, sometimes I would think finish the job in an unacceptable way, other times I would ignore the job alltogether.

Clean up the kitchen.

I would start with the easiest Job. Sweeping the kitchen floor which I always liked to do. Then I wouold clean off the table, and counter tops, brush the dust and crubs off onto the floor, then I would sweep the floor again. Since I hated to wash dishes I saved them till the end, but once I started I would play with the soap making bubbles and suds untill the water ran cold, then I would claim that I couldn't do it because there was no hott water. Often times this job would have to be finished the following day. This would now mean that the floor was dirty again, the table would have to be cleaned off again, the water would need to be run again, and finally I would get to take a break from all this terrible work and play with the soap. I come from a big family so there were lots of dishes, we had a dish washer, actually we had six or seven at any given time between my siblings and parents. But the dishes didn't ever seem to get done quickly when I was doing it. I would take breaks to watch TV, for a few moments, then I would only wash during commercials, after awhile I would have to finish the show all together before I started the dishes at all.

Since then I have grown up a bit. I still despise washing the dishes. But instead of finding ways to cover up the job or take breaks from it, I more often wash dishes when I am finished using them, or when there are only a few of them to do. Sometimes I can be a bit obsessive about it but normally not. Unfourtunatly I don't keep the kitchen floor as clean as I used to but that's a sacrifice that needed to be made.

The problems in my life are slowly but clearly becomming less and less. Nither are the problems very big, nor are they very seriouse most of the time. Usually they are easily deal with, and are no longer problems by the time anyone else catches wind of them. It has not been easy.
It has certainly taken alot more discipline than I care to admit to stop sweeping the dirt underneath the rug, to stop ignoring the dishes, to stop drinking, to stop watching TV, to stop finding things to do instead of covering up the problems that rear their ugly heads.
I think altogether it has been worth giving up the fun of my bubble breaks.

Now I have alot more time to play in the snow.

Cashless

2004-11-20T10:09:00.000-08:00

I am almost out of money. I looked through my two check books today and realised that if I am to pay anymore bills I will need to close one account and transfer funds to the other. How sad. I have maintained them both in healthy states for a matter of time now. And I have felt good about it.

When I resigned from my well paying job ten monthes ago I understood that I was going to have to become accoustomed to a less comfortable finacial state.
I thought about being poor, and I decided that I would be okay with it.
Since I was not forced to make this decision I think I went through it all in my head to convince myself that I could handle it. "After all money isn't everything, and it can't by happyness! "

No it certainly doesn't, but what money does do is pay for my cell phone which I use to talk to the people that give me great joy. Money pays for the water and the electricity that allows me warm baths which makes me very happy everymorning and at various times throughout the winter. Money provides the petrolium which powers my beautiful car that travels me accross the states for whatever reason pleasures my mind at that time. And money supplies that which is beloved and good, that which is needed by all, that which is of utmost importants... Money BuysFood!

Now that I have become increasingly aware of my spendings over the last few months, I see that I can make it by on very little. I can even lead a disciplined life on a comfortable level with little concern. Now that I have experienced this after a time of great wealth in my life, I can more appropriatly appreciate what I little I do have. I now know that a dollar doesn't stretch very far.
But what I do know is if you have Ten$Dollars, You can buy a pound of meat, a bag of flour, a gallon of milk, a head of lettuce, a carton of eggs, baking soda and butter, from which you can combine in a number of ways to feed yourself for a whole week! If you shop at a low priced food source you may also be able to save enough money to purchase a small variety of fruits to accompany your meal selection. Never underestimate the satisfeeding power of RAMEN.

If a man can intelegently manage his funds however small they are he would surely accomplish much with great means. But if a man must borrow and loan with any amount, no great amount will satisfy his needs.

What have I learned from my legal poverty?
I like money. It's good to have.
But I am well enough without it.
At least I can still eat.

The rest of that last one

2004-10-26T20:37:00.000-07:00

Somtimes people just get into slumps, it's human nature. Yet here in the great state of America it seems that we live in a continual slump. As a collective we don't ever overcome our slumps, but instead we move from one slump to another believing that we are redeeming ourselves only to sucomb to the realization that we are meerly experiencing the unfamiliar aspects of a slightly different slump that is not all that different from the previous.

I wonder at times why we do this? But should I ? That could be a total waste of brain power, which oddly enough is the only type of power that is used to little

It's interesting to note that the most brilliant people in our society only use 20% of their brains doesn't leave much hope for the average joe. Is it so hard to use our brains? Apparently so!

Maybe if we all worked together we could come up with something amazing that would be an answer to the needs of millions. If just a small group could pool thier collective knowledge and experience into a single project can you imagine the applications of such an endeavor? I can! Believe it or not you have seen the results this very thing, and it can be summed up in one famously hyphenated trademark... Coca-Cola

Yes that's right, when the best thinkers get together and work towards a common goal they design commercials with songs of inspiration so powerful that they could only be used to sell carbonated beverages .

Often I think that I could easily write catchy jingles like that but everytime I try to write something I end up hearing what I already know, only this time it sounds slightly different in a way that makes it sound better. So now my favorite song is new again and still my favorite! wierd.

It can all get pretty depressing if you ask me. The fact that commercials motivate us to set aside our differences, ignore sterio types, join together accross the world and enjoy the taste of life. Now I can look forward to drinking my favorite soda because it's in a different package now, or they just came out with a new flavor, maybe it's just a new catchy song. It's the same great taste with a new twist.

When you think about it, it's really not so bad. Here in this state of mind that is always becomeing something new and the same there is comfort. Change without change.
So fear not average joe, there is hope!
Next time your feeling down and out keep this in your mind; your next up is just a vanilla/lime/cherry/diet/sugarfree/lemony-twist away!
You will always have a new slump thats still the same to look forward too. Nobody can take that away from you.