"I think I'm a cool Guy" HomeStarRunner

You know what I like?.. Really cool people! I mean REALLY cool people. Like the ones that are so cool you feel better about yourself just for knowing them.
Not the kind that make you feel like you are lame for nto being as cool as them, or the kind that make you wish you were better looking or somethin like that. But just flat out cool people.

I pretty much only know a few of them, most of them are under the age of four, so they will probley grow out of it. The rest of them are always single, way single!

They are the ones that everybody else wants to be with but can't cause they are not cool enough, but when those other people are with the cool people, they feel like they are cooler than they actually are, so they think that they have a pretty good chance with the cool people, but they don't.

Sometimes though, those not so cool people trick the really cool people into thinking that they like the people that are not so cool. Then they start to be with them and they loose some of their coolness because they always talk about the not so cool people as if they were cooler than even they, the cool people are. WTF?

That brings on all sorts of different kinds of trouble, because then some other not so cool people that are either jealous of the not so cool people that are with the cool people, or are just sad that some not so cool people are ruining their favorite cool person, get upset and try to show the not cool person how much cooler they are than the not so cool person that they think they like.

That never works out because the cool person tells this well meaning not so cool person that it's not whats on the outside that matters it's what's on the inside.

Even though that's the truth, I think that not so cool people can tell what's on the inside of other people just as well as cool people can. They can tell cool people apart from not so cool people alot of the time. In fact they might even be better at it than the cool people or the pretend cool people are.

Not so cool people don't get the cream of the crop, most the time they get the attention that's left over after the cool people get the best attention. It's still attention, but sometimes it's sad attention and it makes them cry.

They are the ones that get the rudeness, and the mean remarks because nobody cares if a not so cool person because people only feel cooler about themselves around not so cool people because they think that they are better than them.
That makes things even worse because people might do mean things to not so cool people to make them look even worse so that they feel like they are even more better than the not so cool people.

When I meet a cool person I always tell them how cool I think they are.
I usually think that not so cool people are cool though. Especially if they have alot of people that do mean things, and they are able to still be sweet and kind.
Those are some of the people that I think are cool though.

Fundraiser

While considering different options for fundraising recently I received several suggestions from my co-workers and to be honest I hated all of their ideas, so much in fact that I wanted to punch them in the face for not having such bad ideas.
When I realized I had that feeling, I was suddenly hit with maybe the best fundraising idea EVER!, in the history of EVER!!

announcing!!... The First Annual Punch In The Face For Youth Fundraiser.
Starting November 1st we will be looking for volunteers to help arrange this innovative fundraising event. If you are interested please leave you information in the comment box along with a short explanation of why you would like to be a part of PITFFY.

Here's how it all works;
Volunteers will begin collecting nominations and pledges beginning December 1st.
A list of recipients will be compiled from the nominations received.
Pledges will be made by those who've made nominations.
Nominees will be given the choice of participating or getting punched in the face for free.
Once a person makes a pledge the are automatically ineligible to be a punchee.
Punchers will be selected via random lottery from a list of hopefuls.
On new years eve the winners will have the opportunity to punch their nominee in the face.

I personally know that there are a number of people that would like to punch me in the face.
In the spirit of the event, I am volunteering to let not 1 but 2 of this years most generous supporters to punch me directly in the face. Sign up and make a pledge for your chance!

The event will take place on Saturday, December 31st at approximately 4 pm.
All are invited to attend, bring you family friends, and your cameras!
There will be live music, top entertainers as well as celebrity appearances scheduled, refreshments will be provided.
(We ask that only selected participants and recipients take part in the face punching portion of the event.)

Let's be honest friends, everybody knows someone they would like to see punched in the face, and many of us know someone personally that we would like to punch in the face.
It might be someone at work, your boss, your secretary, maybe your local news caster, an in-law, your ex or even your best friend that you'd like to punch in the face.
This could be your chance to do just that, and lets face it people, it's for a good cause.

And what better time to do it than new years eve when just a few short hours later you can turn over a new leaf and make a new years resolution to put all the punching behind you,
at least that is, next years event rolls around!

Keep An Eye Out For These...
We hope you can join us for other fundraising events coming soon including:
Kick em in the nuts (male nominees only please)
Bitch Slap Tom Cruise (don't sue me Tommy)
Knock Out Your Tax Collector (just in time for tax season)
and Cage Match With Your In-laws (set for next holiday season)

SEE YOU THERE!!!

Identity Protected

I have three roommates.
My roommate is dating my ex-roommate. My other roommate is married to my brother. My other other roommate is her husband who's sister is dating my roommate.
My ex-roommate knew my roommate for 11 years before they started dating, my other roommate for 13 years, but they weren't friends really just acquaintances, and she grew up with me and my other other roommate who is now also her ex-roommate.
I've known my roommate for about 7 years and my other roommate for five years before she married my other other roommate who is my sisters ex-roommate
My roommate has known my other roommate for 26 years they have been roommates about 3 years now, he's known my other other roommate for 11 years. My roommate is not married to my other roommate, she is married to my other other roommate. My roommate is dating my ex-roommate.

When I started living here my roommate was single, my other roommate was dating my other other roommate, but my other roommate wasn't my roommate yet.
My roommates last ex-roommate used to be my other roommates neighbors, but that was back when my ex-roommate, my other other roommate, my first ex-roommates and I were all roommates.
When my ex-roommate was neighbors with my roommate and a previous roommate, my ex-roommate was getting ready to work for my neighbor's ex-roommate.
My neighbors are my roommates first ex-roommates, but now they are just his neighbors.
My roommates first ex-roommates used to spend a lot of time with my other roommate's first ex-roommates, that's how my roommate met my other roommate and her neighbor which later became his previous roommate and my ex-roomates neighbor as well.
My other roommates first ex-roommates used to be my first ex-roommates neighbors, but that was back before my first ex-roommates were roommates, they were just neighbors.

So now you know about me, my brother and sister, my sister in-law, my roomate, our parents, one aunt and Paul.

It's F-Fu-F-Cold!

Well geez! It's freaking cold outside. In case you haven't taken the opportunity to read some of my long ago postings let me (at the risk of being redundant) tell you how much I hate the cold.
The other day we woke up and the temperature had dropped below 40, when I woke up My forehead was numb... my forehead! It was the only part out from under the covers in the air so cold that it made my forehead numb. Isn't your head sapposed to be one of the warmest parts of your body? Haven't I heard that 1/3 of your body heat escapes through your head? Maybe thats only when you are standing up and the heat has no choice but to rise up through your body cause thats what heat does. So does that mean everyone is a hot-head? I think it does, at least when they are standing up. Maybe they shouldn't be hot-headed when they sleep though.
One thing I know for sure was that the other morning I was definatly NOT happy about not being a hot-head. I was pissed! I got out of bed and I said mean things to the air, I know I probley shouldn't have but I think it needed to hear what I had to say and besides it was all it's fault anyway. I thought I would feel a little bad about it later but I didn't.
I don't know if I have ever been quite so hot-headed about not being hot-headed at a time when a person shouldn't even be hot headed.
No, I take that back, one time my brother set the furnace so that it would drop to 55 at 11pm because he heard on chicago radio that it would save money and people usually slept better when it was cooler. The problem there s we have radiators, and it takes a couple days for them to get up to temp cause we have a huge giant old house, so once they cooled down enough for the thermostat to drop, it was gonna take like 4 hours for them to warm back up and in that time the house temp went even lower.
That caused some tension here in the house let me tell you what.
After I had been up for a while I decided it was time to turn the furnace o for the winter.
So I and a roomate got out the matches, and I think they were broken. They wouldn't lite, and they were those little strike anywherematches, I tried it on my zipper, on the concrete floor, on the brick wall, on the metal furnace, even on the side of my face (like in the movies where the tough guys are all like "look at me, I am so hardcore my face is rouch like a stone") and out of like six matches I only got one of them to light.
Once the furnace was running I let go of the pilot light and it freaking went out, the little bugger was to cold to stay lit. So we let it run for a while and then tried it later, but still nothing. I Finally ended up holding the dang thing on for like ten minutes to get it to stay lit. Then I got worried it wouldn't stay lit so I left for the weekend just in case the house got blowed up. I mean I wouldn't want to be in the house if it blew up would you? I showed my roomate how to check and make sure it was still going though, I didn't tell him why I was leaving I made up some story about going to see my girlfriend or something like that just to keep him from wondering.
I think it worked cause he was still here when I got back.
After six hours it was like 4 degrees warmer in the house, so I was still pissed. That was right about the time I left. My car has heat.

Freakin Liars

My brother the other day told me a story about how he jumped off a 40 foot ladder and avoided injury by rolling as soon as his feet hit the ground.
A couple short years ago, another brother told me how a grade-schooler threw a rock that weighed as much as two persons heads (20-30 lbs) at his chest with one hand while he unsuspectedly ate watermelon. After being hit with the rock, unable to catch his breath while choking on watermelon, was drug around the state park by this tiny little man.
My baby brother called me a few days ago to tell me about fighting a monster that was trying to catch my sisters boyfriend, after fighting for a while he just yelled at the monster and told it to go away or he would kill it.
My dad jumped off a garage with an umbrella when he was a kid after watching marry popins and broke both of his ankles, he later was in a bike wreck and lost his front teeth, then fell into a ravine when the vine he was swinging across broke injuring his knee, then just a few years later was hit by lightning through a building while working on his college campus as a security guard ruining his brand new tennis shoes and burning his mouth from the metal in the replacement teeth.
When I was 14 I got Shot!, in the knee, with a nail gun, that I was holding.
I tore a muscle in my shoulder when I was trying to win a crazy flip contest at a pool [for which there was no prize, (totally not worth it)],
I was run over by a car!, my foot got caught under the wheel when I stepped out of the still moving vehicle.
I was in flipping car wreck, several wrecks just one flipping wreck.
I cut my heal to the bone on a piece of rubber when falling off of a jet ski and finally, the kicker broke my dang foot the first time I sparred in Karate.

Here's what I think... My dad did some crazy stuff and it didn't work out for him so he got hurt a lot. My brothers are full of crap, they never get hurt so I think they make up everything they say. When I see some brokenness instead of some hard to believe stories after the fact, then maybe I might buy some of this crap they keep feeding me.
I mean really, do they think it's impressive to tell stories like that? Maybe if they were true and they had some scars or something to show for it. But who wants to hear about an impossible feat that you don't have video to prove, no witnesses to support and no injuries to back you up.
Everybody believes the stuff I tell them cause I am still bleeding or limping when the hear about it, But come on, unless you have some of that sweet stuff or at least some evidence to support your freaking claim, shut up!
What really I think happens is they all got used to hearing dads stories and being impressed and then fabricated or at least exaggerative their own experiences because they want to be cool too.

Take it from me brothers, you don't want to be cool. You seriously need to hurt yourselves if you want to be cool, it's just the only way, I mean look at me, I get hurt all the time, I think I'm a cool guy.
I'm not saying this just so you guys will have to suffer pain for my amusement. No way. Not at all. Not in the least. I don't think that you should play in the street so that you can get clipped by a car, and I don't think that you should try to make your own hang glider and test it off the barn back home, nor do I think that you should tease the prize winning bulls that our neighbor bud has next door, I probably shouldn't have said any of this, I didn't really need to bring it up I guess. And I don't think that I should suggest that you guys should try to catch those raccoons that keep tearing into the trash barrels either.
You guys should probably try to avoid all of these things and the like as they might potentially cause you harm and leave you with permanent scars as reminders of the crazy things you have done not to mention elaborate stories that you will have to re-live over and over in groups of people who want to know why you can't open your hand all the way or why you can't play football with the kiddies. Nope, you guys don't want that, trust me.